Frank Zappa The Conservative

Way back in 1986 a certain Mr. Frank Zappa made a famous appearance on CNN's Crossfire programme during which Frank declared himself a Conservative(read Libertarian). The discussion was about civil liberties and freedom of speech in particular. It seems the Kulturkampf as the cultural war is being described now(in the blogsphere) has not moved on much in two decades. Authoritarians of both left and right seemed determined as ever to tell people what to think and do.

In Britain most people seem oblivious to the steady erosion of liberty, happy to watch mind numbing reality TV their only concerns being moving up the property ladder and what next to buy with their equity inflated credit cards. Meanwhile the Labour governments constant desire to control leads to badly drafted and plain dumb laws being passed. The left's so called progressiveness has become populist reaction.

Two prime examples(of dumb laws) are human rights legislation and ASBO's(anti social behaviour orders). The human rights legislation may seem like something your average Libertarian would support but it is being used and interpreted in ridiculous ways. Gypsies have used human rights legislation to make themselves exempt from planning laws, due to their right to family life. Even more crazily a council has slapped an ASBO on a woman who keeps trying to kill herself. The ASBO states she has to stay away from rivers and multistorey carparks, that's bound to cheer her up. Who needs Prozac when you can have a multi purpose ASBO! Let's chuck ASBOs at all nutters and the world will be a better place.

I think Frank would agree with me the less laws the better.

Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys

Ha it still works, go to www.google.co.uk and type "french military victories" then hit the I'm feeling lucky button. Priceless.

Slag Jesus In Austria, Go To Jail In Greece

Austrian cartoonist Gerhard Haderer thought it was a joke when he received a summons to appear in court in Athens charged with blasphemy. He got a six month suspended sentence in absentia. Harderer had fallen foul of the EU's new arrest warrant system. The poor chap didn't even know that his book of cartoons - variously depicting JC as a pot smoking suffer and friend of Jimi Hendrix - had been publised in Greece. He is appealing the ridiculous sentence.

Does this now mean that bloggers in one European country could write something in one state and be prosecuted in another? Say I start a Neo Nazi site will I go to jail in Germany because of their strict anti Nazi laws? Of course Eurofanatics welcome ever more integration no mater the consequenses. Not to mention the fact that most EU treaties and polices are sneaked in the back door without ever being voted for.

Bum Sex OK Says Mullah

This post was going to be about how the so called moderate Shia Grand Ayatollah Ali al Sistani is not very moderate at all, so I decided to do a little research at the esteemed cleric's web site. In the Q&A page right at the top in the "A" section I spotted a question about anal intercourse.

Question: Is anal intercourse permissible?

Answer:Permission is bound to wife's agreement, but is strongly undesirable.

It seems to me that the chief Shia raghead is more liberal in this matter than your average Free Presbyterian. Then again Ali probably has four wives so he can persuade one of them to take it via the tradesman's entrance.

That's not the only pearl of wisdom on Ali's new fangled web site, it appears Shia's can take the Bill Clinton defense.

Question:What is the definition of Zina?(Adultery).

Answer:Zina does not take place without penetration.

Blowjobs and cigars for all then.

THEMORNINGAFTER

I was just sitting here when I noticed some old CD's sitting at my feet. I picked a few up and noticed the copyright dates on them. 1997 WTF! I feel like a fucking grandad looking at this shit. I used to think the stuff I liked was cutting edge.

It's time to face facts I'm old and fat.

Random Pic To Piss Off Feminists

Miss Alabama at the meat market, sorry beauty pageant.

Lend Us A Tenner Fidel

Elder Statesman and hero of The Left, Fidel Castro has been listed as one of the world's richest men with a fortune estimated by Forbes magazine at $550. Outraged Castro is threatening to sue, revolutionary eh?

ID Cards On The Backburner For Now

It seems the government has decided to scrap the ID card bill in the run up to the election in favour of other bills like the gambling bill and the SOCA bill. Hopefully Labour will lose about 90 seats(fat chance) at the election and this will scare them away from silly populist policies like ID cards. Here's hopping.

Duck not a Drake

Duck has been a member of Face Party for just over a week now, but the problem is all the girls are dykes. "I wanabe a lesbian" proclaimed Duck as he stared wantingly at the computer screen. Forty squid well spent eh Ducky?

South Park Returns

South Park has returned for a ninth series, let's hope it says as hilariously funny as ever.

Geek Alert

Just watched the trailer for the last Star Wars movie looks like it could be a good show, roll on the 19th of may.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

The government has come up with some sort of national happiness meter called the Index for National Wellbeing. This index will measure such bizarre things as neighbourliness amongst others. No doubt this project will require another squad of crack civil servants to administer and will generate vast new reams of statistics. These stats will then be processed by the already politicized Office of National Statistics to show year on year growth in happiness.

Even Soviet propagandists reading off "grain production up 15%, steel production up 20%, cabbage broth production up 50%" never thought to claim happiness was going up too(presumably because life was perfect anyway).

Will there be a new government minister for national happiness too?, or will King Toni tell us all how ridiculously, ecstaticly and manically happy we are?

That's Enough Crap

The blog was temporally hijacked by Nat and Duck today. I'm all up for free speech but it is either time to make your own blog or stick to making comments.

Our Leader(by usefull idiots)

This is Bertie Bassett, our leader. He throws down his keys like a god from above allowing us to enter his love pad of debauchery. On entering we are allowed to pray to Mecca and worship the Koran as Bert is open all beliefs. He understalds all needs and is caring to all....He also likes Jack Daniels and (deleted by Bert), only jokin oh large and almightly one.

Edit: obviously not posted by me.

This is my friend the hypocrite(by Duck)

What a wee bitch, she comes in here acting as if she is a little princess. actually natasha beattie was on this very computer looking at 40+ men and women might i add on the site faceparty, the pictures i was looking at were of the beautiful feamale form when my good pal nat sought out pictures of dirty old men with their rods out and ready for action so i'll let you decide who is the dirty bastard in this area. P.S she is not a whore but she does like pussy and cock together!

Too Much Chinny Chin Burg(by Nat))

On visiting Maguire's on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, I discovered this dirty old man drowling over Face Party. They did not speak only made groaning noises while looking at 45 year old sluts from Newtownards! Be warned, this man is currently underfed and on the look out for any warm blooded females.................

American Landmine

A few years back the UN tried to get the production and use of landmines stopped. Notable celebrities like Princess Diana backed the campaign. America has not supported the ban due mainly to the fact that there is a huge minefield protecting South Korea and the American troops based there. The campaign seemed to fizzle out a bit after HRH came to sticky end in a Paris tunnel, conspiracy theorists even said the CIA had bumped her off because of the momentum the campaign was gathering. Recently the UN wanted to run this add on American TV networks. Most American TV networks refused for various reasons but I think the likes of CNN and others saw a shit storm coming from right wingers if they did. What do you think?

Thanks to boing boing for the link, back up torrent here(requires QuickTime).

Edit: It is a little unfair to single out America(as ever), Russia, India, Pakistan and China also refuse to sign the Ottawa convention banning use and manufacture of landmines.

Excited Teenagers

Duck and Nat spent the Afternoon at my place trying to sign up to Faceparty. Duck reckons a few naked pics of himself on the net and the fanny will be knocking his door down. I'm not so sure. Two of the people in the picture below have put a few pounds on since this pic was taken and it certainly isn't the blonde. Apart from randy Duck and Nat there has apparently been some success for current members Cook and Mulner. Eagle eyed Duck also spotted a certain Harry Campbell is a member. Cook says the £40 yearly fee is worth it for the (barely legal) pussy. To be continued....


P.S. Duck was heading for the gym when he left my place.

The Hairy One

Last seen headed for England. never to return again. 

Self Explanatory Really

NICE!

The One And Only

YOU CAN DO IT!

Labour's Dumb Laws

It seems more than a few people agree that labour's law against inciting religious hatred will be counterproductive(no I am not suggesting that Charles Moore reads my blog). In fact I have not seen a single article in any of the major newspapers in support of the law apart from one by former Home Secretary David (Big) Blunkett in the Guardian. It's his law after all.

It seems the perfect religion of Islam and all powerful Allah need protection from criticism by the British Anglican state. If Islam is perfect then surely it can stand up to a lot of criticism? Muslim groups claim they only want the same protection as existing law gives racial groups such as Jews and Sikhs. The thing is as the comedian Rowan Atkinson told a Commons committee: "To criticize people for their race is manifestly irrational but to criticize their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom. The freedom to criticize ideas -any ideas- even if they are sincerely held beliefs is one of the fundamental freedoms of society and a law that attemtps to say you can criticize or ridicule ideas as long as they are not religious ideas is a very peculiar law indeed." literally I could not have said it better myself.

The fact that the proposed law is unlikely to get through the Lords shows the law up for what it is, a cynical attempt to buy back Muslim votes lost after the Iraq invasion. This divisive law is a bit like G.W. Bush's marriage amendment and his father's anti flag burning one, vote winners with no chance of getting past.

America's Big Stick Is Working

I wonder what the anti-war crowd will make of the current unfolding situation in the Middle East and Islamic World. Thanks to American & Allied action there have already been democratic elections in Afghanistan and Iraq. The death of Arafat and the democratic election of Mahmoud Abbas has revitalized hope of peace for Palestine and Israel. Of course the death of Arafat was purely a coincidence(no sniggering at the back) never the less the democratic ripples are spreading throughout the region.

All of this is causing serious worry for the other despots and their regimes in the region. Saudi Arabia has recently held male only elections and the Saudi foreign minister has said women will be allowed to vote in the next one. Egypt will actually have more than one presidential candidate at the next election. Meanwhile Syria's President Assad seems to have made a monumental blunder by having Lebanon's former prime minister blown up by a massive car bomb. The result is what is being called the "Cedar Revolution" with Christians and Muslims calling for an end to Syrian interference in Lebanese affairs and the withdrawal of Syrian troops. We have also seen Libya come in from the cold recently too, it seems Col. Gaddafi has no love of Islamic extremists either or maybe he is just scared of the big stick(which he has had a taste of in the past).
Mr Gaddafi has also called on other rouge states to follow his lead and give up WMD and their associated programmes.

The anti-war left will sneer at this and say look at the mess in Iraq as if the Middle East was some sort of swell place to live before the recent invasion. The fact is nihilistic head hackers are no match for Iraqi democrats never mind the US army. The rest of the peoples of the region are looking on with envy and now they want their slice of the democratic pie.

The current wave of freedom spreading in the Islamic world and The Ukraine should be seen as a third wave, the second was a consequence of Reagan scrapping detente with the USSR, and the first was from America's entry into WWII. The anti-war left was wrong about confronting Hitler(as were US isolationists) and they were wrong about confronting the USSR. I think they are about to be wrong about confronting Islamofascism but then of course the left's legions of revisionist historians will swing into action. How very predictable.

How The Mighty Have Fallen

Germany now has 5.2 million unemployed according to German economists. The former economic power house may soon be swapping places with previous EU aid receivers such as Ireland and Spain to become to become a net beneficiary of EU funds. Germany's rigid labour laws are the cause of this not reunification as the Left would have people believe. The powerful unions in Germany will protest any labour market reforms designed to stop the decline. Perhaps a "winter of discontent" circa Britain 1978-9 might change German public opinion. I wonder if they will get a Maggie too?